I Regret
by SaitouuRyuuji
Summary: Living as a mortal can be just plain hard sometimes. Odin has the bright idea that banishing Loki to earth will help teach his son some humility. Will Loki understand what his father was trying to teach him and when a old enemy comes knocking on his door will he even be able to survive? What happens when the Avengers get added into the mix? No slash! Just friendship.


Disclaimer: No I don't own any of the marvel characters, though I wish I could own Loki. He's sexy. Oh well, anyway I hope you enjoy this fanfic.

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Chapter 1: Jet

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Pain was all he could feel anymore or remember. Throughout his life pain had been his constant companion and he just wanted it to end. He had never really wanted the throne, no, he had only wanted to show his father that he was good for something but what had he received in turn? More pain and disappointment from his fath-Odin.

Loki shuddered as he stood before his fath-Odin, Loki darkly reminded himself. Odin was no longer his father so why did he keep slipping? Well anyway, Loki didn't care what Odin thought anymore, or Thor for that matter. After everything that he had done, all he had come to understand during his stay on Midgard, he now knew he was a demon, a monster just like his heritage. Blood roared in his hears and the pit of his stomach felt heavy and cold with anticipation at what Odin's punishment would bring.

"My son, what has happened to you?" A thick baritone slid under Loki's grim musing to catch his attention. Loki knew Odin didn't truly care about the answer to his question or wellbeing of his adopted son. No he just liked listening to himself speak, Loki mused.

With his hands shackled in front and a guard holding onto each arm Loki stood before Odin in the spacious well lit throne room. He was dressed in a black tunic, brown fitting trousers and knee-high leather boots. Just because he was in enemy territory, trussed up like a wrangled bovine didn't mean he had to act like an animal. He still had his pride and dignity. Loki scoffed at the question sneering with pure malice while testing his bonds. He grimaced slightly when his guards pulled him back harshly and Loki dropped his sneer long enough for him to swallow roughly-the only telltale sign he was nervous-before he widened his sneer.

"I have only become what I was truly meant to be. I was never truly one of you and you know it." Loki didn't raise his voice in the slightest when he hissed. "And I am not your son."

"Loki," Thor questioned plaintively, "Why do you mock father so?"

Loki just snorted giving a nonchalant shrug, "It's the truth. He's no father of mine."

"Loki, watch what you say or so help me, I'll…" Thor growled dangerously, his armor clanking together as he tensed, his hand tightening on Mjölnir.

_Really Thor, _Loki thought. _How many times are you going to keep being baited before you realize you always fall into the same trap? _Thor came to the same realization seeing that Loki's true goal was for him to lose composure.

"Or you'll do what dear brother?" Loki asked giving a barking laugh, as if this whole situation was a game he could walk away from at any moment. That had always been his problem; he thought he still had the upper hand with his ability to twist words.

"Loki, brother, please." Thor pleaded his usually thunderous voice barely a whisper. Loki didn't get Thor's hint that now wasn't the time for games. Thor's only reaction was to look away in sorrow as his brother tried to keep the upper hand on the current situation, hoping that he might get lucky and walk away with a punishment less than he deserved. He had always been good at wheedling his way out of trouble. But not tonight, tonight Odin was too resolute in his punishment. Loki wasn't going to be getting of scot free. Loki, in turn, for once wasn't reading the situation, having too much fun playing mind games that he lost track of how serious his situation really was.

_Despite acting tough, Thor had always been the sissy one. No wonder Laufey had called him princess._ Loki recollected with a secret smile. A spontaneous thought popped into his head. _I could always change Thor into a mouse or a flea. That would really cause chaos. Might be able to us that as a distraction to break away from this awful place._ As much fun as that would be, it probably wouldn't work in the long run

After having his way with Thor, Loki squared his shoulders, lifted his chin and narrowed his eyes pointedly gazing at Odin. Watching his every move, almost willing him to react to his slight, but Odin just sat motionless atop his golden throne. No, if anything it was Thor-not standing but a few feet off to Loki's left-that flinched at the mounting tension in the room. The air so heavy even Mjölnir would have problems flying through it.

"Loki, why must you play these games? Of course you're my son." A patch of light shone on Odin's personage and his armor caught the light, shining blinding gold. Loki could barely make out his white-bearded face, though his black eye-patch seemed to stand out sucking in the light just a black hole devoured stars. Loki involuntarily shuddered again fighting to keep the fear he felt from controlling his tongue. Instead Loki laughed bitterly but said nothing. In truth he just didn't feel worthy of being here, in the throne room.

He would rather be in darkness away from Asgard, the Allfather and Thor. At this thought Loki felt a pang of bitterness course through him as he thought of his mother and what he had put her through. As much as he wanted to see his mother one more time, it was better that she wasn't here to see her abomination of a son. Loki didn't know if he'd be able to see his mother cry. She had been the only one, he felt, that truly loved her and he didn't have the heart to see her break down.

No, the only people in the cavernous throne room with lofty windows were Odin, Loki and his guards, as well as Thor.

When Loki gave no reply to Odin's question he sighed heavily before continuing, "Loki this saddens me to see you like this. You were destined for greatness, you are a prince of Asgard and royalty from Jotunheim, but you have squandered everything." Loki saw thinly veiled disappointment and for some reason that angered him enough to elicit a heated response.

"You want to know why?" Loki's voice broke slightly as it rose higher in pitch, echoing off the walls in the suffocating silence that had enveloped the room. Thor cringed, hating to see his brother lose control of himself.

"Why? It's because I am a monster, I am the very thing from the stories told to get children to behave. I grew up believing I was one of your sons but my world has long been shattered by the truth." Loki bristled, stopping momentarily to suck in a shuddering breath before continuing his rant. "Your lies helped shape me into what I am now." By this point Loki was fighting against his bonds, bringing his shackled wrists up to point accusing at Asgard's king. The guards wrestled with Loki roughly as he continued to fight. There were telltale signs that the shackles had cut into his wrists during the heated struggle because blood lazily dripped off Loki's fingertips.

Odin looked away in shame a pang of guilt shooting through his veins but Loki misread his action as disgust and could only glare with hatred toward Asgard's king. Odin sighed through his nose, knowing well that Loki spoke the truth. As one point he thought it was a mistake to have ordered Frigga to stay in their chambers. Maybe if she was here now Loki would be better behaved. He had always been on his behavior with Frigga around.

Odin clenched his fist against the throne's armrest, no there was nothing he could or Frigga could do to help his son change but there still had to be something, someone who could help his son where he had failed. Thor had changed during his banishment to Midgard, maybe the same results could happen to Loki. Odin could only hope so. Loki may have always been the better behaved of his two sons but Loki was definitely the more stubborn, unforgiving child. Bless the soul that had the misfortune of trying to rehabilitate the God of Chaos and Mischief for they would need all the help they could get. Heck Odin would even help behind the scenes if needed. Odin rested his head in his hand; this was going to be hard.

"Loki, I know you don't believe me and will never truly understand, but I love you and have figured the best punishment for you."

Thor stood straighter and even though Loki glared at the king, he cocked his head to the side with slight interest and trepidation.

"I believe it is in your best interest to be banished to Midgard and live among the mortals you tried to subject."

"Father." Thor bellowed in surprise and if Loki wasn't too thunderstruck he would have rolled his eyes at Thor's sentimentality. "Father, that is not wise." Thor continued wild alarm playing across his face, "If Loki is left on earth he will wreak havoc."

"You will not dare speak against me for you do not understand my reasonings." Odin snarled and Thor recoiled as if he'd been burned, turning his face away from his father's wrath. After a few moments of silence Loki chanced a glance at his brother and could see his jaw muscles harden with pent up fury.

Odin once again addressed Loki, his voice hard steel, "You will not have your magic to take with you. You will have to learn to get by with just your wits." At that Loki's eyes widened and he involuntarily stepped back only to be pulled forward back into place. He didn't even cringe at the strength to which the guards were holding onto his arms.

No, this was a nightmare, it can't be happening. With his magic Loki could do anything, be anything. Since the first spell he had cast-as a prank on Thor no doubt-magic had always poured through his veins like blood, it was almost a life essence and to have that taken away he would be nothing, lower than even the monster he was now. No he'd rather be a monster than a helpless, cowering mortal.

Odin's lips thinned when he saw the terror shoot across his younger son's face and though it made things harder, but there was no backing down. Plus if there was something Loki hated worse than his father it would be pity. Odin pushed himself off the throne and slowly walked toward Loki. Loki began to tremble uncontrollably and he briefly turned his gaze toward his brother, pleading him for help but was sorely disappointed when he saw that Thor had turned his back-yet again.

Fear shone bright in Loki's eyes and he lost all semblance of dignity and began to viciously fight against his bonds, twisting and turning causing his captors to constantly shift their hold. It was to no avail for Loki, he just couldn't get away. Odin's boots clacked heavily against the rune-patterned floor, looming closer, echoing like thunder throughout the room.

"Loki, stop fighting the inevitable." Odin thundered, once again feeling guilt bloom in his chest as he watched his son seemingly come to terms with his punishment. Loki in turn had relaxed his entire upper body leaving his guards to counter his full upper body weight. If Loki had been himself, not crazed with fear he would have smirked at the looks of deep concentration upon his guards' faces. Asgard's king thought the trickster had finally submitted to his fate but Thor knew better. Loki was just taking advantage of being underestimated. Just because he was down didn't mean it was out.

"No Loki, don't make this harder…" Thor's voice filtered into Loki's awareness but he didn't pay attention as he became alert, catching his captors by surprise. He attacked the guard to his right in the gut with his elbow, hearing a satisfying whuff as the air was knocked out of him. With as much force as he could muster Loki brought his shackled wrists up smacking the other guard full in the face. A crack could be heard as the guard's nose broke on impact. He used the momentum he had built up to propel him around, making a break for the doors.

Realization donned on Odin and he broke out into a run bellowing, "Guards don't let Loki get away." Thor had also leapt into action, but wasn't much help as he stumbled over one of the guards rolling around in pain.

As the doors opened more guards poured in with swords draw, they obviously didn't have qualms about using brute strength to subdue their target. Loki didn't even notice for he was in fight-or-flight mode. Had he been thinking clearly he would have just teleported away to safety, but with fear ruling his every movement he raced past guard after guard, dodging every swipe that came his way. He failed to notice how dangerously close one of the guards was getting to him-smirking darkly. Blind to everything but the doors and the freedom they held he suddenly stumbled and upon hearing a blood curdling scream felt icy chills run through his veins. Something was dangerously wrong, why did feel so numb, yet why did his stomach feel like it was on fire? When had everything become so blurry?

Loki slumped to his knees-having no support from the sword in his gut when the guard roughly pulled it out. "Sweet dreams, you traitorous, insufferable prince." The guard whispered.

The guard must have thought he was invisible through the chaos but as he turned around to disappear he wasn't able to move farther than a few feet before Mjölnir came hurtling toward his head. He was dead before he even hit the ground.

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Frigga knew she had promised her husband that she would stay away from the throne room while his pronounced judgment on their wayward son, but she just couldn't' stay away any longer. She paced in front of the throne room doors, apprehensively biting her nails while ignoring the guards' attempts at ushering her away from the throne room. She would not be cowed, she was the queen and she had a right to see her son one more time before he was banished to Midgard.

She knew of her son's punishment, for she had helped her husband think up the proper price for Loki's crimes. In fact, she had helped her husband see reason that banishment was better than making a public spectacle of their son-her son. How was Loki to ever learn if he was humiliated and ridiculed? It was better to have him suffer on Midgard with a change of meeting somebody who might be able to help him than live his life out in misery stuck on Asgard. Where Odin was the voice of power in Asgard, Frigga was the voice of reason and though it was hard to have her son stripped of his power and sent to Midgard, she felt that Loki had been humiliated enough. Plus, she knew the thing he hated most, feared most even was the loss of his powers; being helpless. Being mortal.

"My queen, you really should go back to your chambers." A guard had the gall to approach her.

"Loki is my son." Frigga spat like a cobra spat poison, "I demand that you let me see him before Odin banishes him to Midgard."

The guards looked at each other awkwardly but didn't move, they may be afraid of their queen but they were afraid of Odin's wrath more. It was then that she could hear commotion inside the throne room. Her insides flipped with worry when she heard Odin yell "Guards don't let Loki get away." What was going on in there?

As the doors slowly opened Frigga could see her son running wildly in her direction with Odin and Thor hot on his trail. The two guards that had been by Loki's side were moaning and rolling on the ground having lost the fight against a frightened Loki.

Tears prickled against Frigga's eyes and her hands flew to her mouth when she saw the unadulterated terror that found home in Loki's deep green eyes. Frigga felt guilt bubble up inside, she had helped cause this. She knew, had known for a while that Loki's greatest fear was losing his magic, he had told her this in confidence and she had broken his trust. Oh he might not know this but she sure felt terrible seeing Loki run around in a panic, dodging sword swing after sword swing from the guards. It was apparent that magic was too much a part of his life to lose without putting up a fight.

Frigga silently shuffled in behind the guards with the logic that if Loki got past everything and out the doors there was no way she was going to stop him. She just didn't have the heart to. She froze in shock though when the guard closest to Loki ran him through with his sword. She screamed her son's name rushing over to his collapsed body, not even noticing that guard's lifeless body at her feet.

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Everything seemed so surreal to Loki. Blurry and in slow motion. Was that his mother running toward him? _No mother, go away I don't want you to see me this way._ He tried to scoot away from his mother but much to his annoyance his body wasn't doing as it was told. He floundered as his mother pulled him from the floor and put half of his upper body into her lap while Thor ripped his red cape off and pushed it to the wound in Loki's stomach in an attempt to staunch the bleeding. Loki didn't even register that he was screaming in pain or that he had tears running down his face.

Loki calmed down only slightly when he heard his mother's voice whispering calm nothings to him. Since Loki's wrists were still shackled she wound her left arm under his arms and placed her hand on his chest, fisting the black fabric of his tunic while her right hand began running through his long black hair. He relaxed further into her hold as she hugged him tightly. In her arms he felt safe, he knew he didn't have to fear anything anymore so he let go of his terror, let it just slip away. His face relaxed and almost fell asleep before his mother gently shook him. "No Loki don't fall asleep, you must stay awake."

Through half-lidded eyes Loki murmured. "Mother I feel so tired."

"I know, young one, but don't fall asleep."

Loki felt like he was in a dream, all the hate, fear and disappointment kept at bay by his mother's love. That didn't last long when he saw Odin set within his vision. He didn't realize he had been fighting to get up and away from his father until Frigga pulled him in tighter, her tears now falling on his forehead and occasionally on his cheeks. Loki hissed in pain but stopped trying to fight.

"A monster like me shouldn't be here." Loki muttered.

"You are not a monster, you are my son." Frigga ground out, her voice raw with emotion; Loki could almost hear her heart breaking.

Loki tried to bring a hand up to wipe away his mother's tears away, growling audibly in frustration when his hands felt too heavy to move. He momentarily pulled his head up in curiosity and instantly wished he hadn't for he saw that his hands were still manacled, as well as the mess of his blood on the floor, staining the beautiful stonework.

Loki began to tremble again but was too numb to feel the pain of his wound. Frigga gently pushed his head back down into her lap and held on tighter, her sobs wracking her body.

"Mother, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused you."

Frigga shook her head and answered, "The fault is all mine, we should have told you earlier about your heritage."

"No mother, the fault was never yours, but Odin's. I could never hate you."

Frigga glared up at her husband and growled, "Where are the healers? They should have been called here long ago."

Loki tensed as Odin kneeled next to him, "They will be here shortly Frigga." With that he gently pulled Loki's hands toward him and unfastened the manacles. With a clank they fell uselessly against the floor. Odin then surrounded Loki's hands in his own and squeezed reassuringly-Loki's hands dwarfed in comparison. Odin had meant this as a gesture of good will but hatred shone brightly in his eyes as he scrambled-more like flopped-to get away. He wrapped his arms tightly around the arm against his chest, clinging as if it were a lifeline.

"Get away from me." Loki hissed before coughing.

"Loki, brother, please stop moving. You are losing too much blood and will die." Thor pleaded.

Loki glared as if he had been offended. "Mother, I am not afraid to die." He didn't care that he sounded like a petulant child after a scolding.

"Loki, you might not be, but I'm afraid to lose you." Frigga whispered softly for only Loki to hear. Loki's eyes flitted to look at his mother's face and his heart began to break at her expression of anguish.

"I'm sorry that I have caused you so much pain." Loki whispered as he struggled to bring a hand up to his mother's face, he used his other hand to help leverage himself so he could reach. Frigga pulled her hand out from Loki's hair and helped him bring his hand up the rest of the way smiling reassuringly in an attempt to fool Loki into thinking she was alright when her heart was clearly being ripped apart. She held his hand to her mouth and Loki sighed with relief at the changed expression on his mother's face.

"I love you mother."

"Loki don't you dare…" Frigga threatened as she held tighter onto his hand. Hurried footsteps came closer and Loki weakly turned his head to the side in time to see the healer race to his side before his eyes closed and he went limp. The hand around his mother's arm dropped, but she wouldn't allow the other hand at her face to fall. There was no force on Asgard strong enough to make her sever the last remaining connection she had with her son. She clung tighter to it sobbing even harder as some of her tears washed over his hand.

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A/N: I must admit I outdid myself. I feel bad for Loki right now. *_laughs maniacally_* I could so easily make this a one shot but I don't want to, so I decided to just make this a cliffhanger instead. I hope you like this because there will be more soon. Please leave me a review to tell me what you think, was it good? Bad? Oh…by the way, in case you were wondering the name of the chapter is a gemstone. I'm following the example of naming chapters after gemstones like Salazarfalcon did in their fanfiction about Loki named _Truthfully._ That fanfiction is amazing and I recommend it whole-heartedly. It definitely was a great inspiration in getting this story rolling.


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